Humble Boldness

 I was surprised recently to learn what the most common command is in the Bible.  Go ahead and guess what it is.  My first guess was: worship God.  Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second greatest is to love our neighbor as ourselves.  But this is actually not the most repeated command in Scripture. The most common, most repeated, command in the Bible is "Do not be Afraid."  As someone who has struggled with anxiety recently this really struck me.  A lot of my anxiety comes from a fear of not being able to control the future.  What if this happens... What if that happens... And what if it's my fault.  But God repeatedly throughout Scripture commands us to not be afraid. I've been working on some Christmas messages lately and you find this command to not be afraid even in the Christmas story.  Joseph, Zechariah, Mary, and the shepherds are all told "do not be afraid."  There is something about the Chris...

I've been reading a really good book lately called "The Land Between."  It tells the story of the Israelites in the desert as they are between Egypt and the promised land.  Over and over again they long to be back in Egypt where they had food and were comfortable, even though they were slaves.  They complain, gripe, and lash out to Moses and God.  But, they are also on a path toward the promised land.  A land flowing with milk and honey and God's blessings.  They are in this strange in between place. I can relate so much to this analogy.  I miss 2019 and life before Covid.  I've complained a lot to God about how my church and job have changed overnight.  I hate social distancing and not being able to see people's faces because of masks.  Church is so different.  And we're not out of the woods yet, we're not through this pandemic thing.  We haven't reached the promised land of the "new normal."  For the Israelites, God used...

    The holidays will be different this year.  Back in March I think many of us were glad that Covid hadn't hit during the winter and during the holidays.  I don't think any of us expected it to go on this long either.  But, here we are.  About to enter the joyous holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's with Covid hanging over our heads.  For many, holidays can be hard by themselves: loss of loved ones the past year, stress of traveling, difficult family dynamics.  And this year we throw on top of all of it the stress of Covid, not being able to be around family, or having to do a zoom get together.  Fun!       As I was reading my Bible this morning I was struck by Paul's prayer in Colossians 1.  I love how Paul prays.  He always challenges my personal prayers for my friends and family.  But it was vv. 11-12 that really struck a chord with me.  Paul prays that the Colossians may be strengthe...

       I’m working this week on a sermon comparing guilt to shame.  Shame, as I’ve come to understand it has to do with who we are. Yes, we feel shame and are shamed by others, but shame is an identity. Whereas guilt is about something we’ve done.  Guilt has to do with being guilty over a crime or sin I’ve committed.       All of this has brought the issue of racism into my mind. Racism is about shame.  Racism attempts to take a person and identify them with negative stereotypes.  It becomes about who they are.        It may also have to do with guilt.  We make people feel guilty for their skin color.  We say “all such people do this.”  It also becomes an issue of what someone does, i.e. guilt.        Why? Why do we do this to other people? Why do we make someone feel bad for who they are?      I grew up in a majority white neighborhood and went to a majority...

    Recently, I was introduced to the Enneagram Test.  There's a great website that explains what it is and a pretty simple test to take to figure out your personality type.  Here's how they explain what it is: The Enneagram (Ennea=9, Gram=Diagram) is simply a map (GPS) for self-discovery and personal growth based on 9 basic personality types. The Enneagram accurately and clearly describes why you think, feel and behave in particular ways based upon your core fears and core desires. The power of the Enneagram is in its ability to harness and transform self-limiting behaviors into life-enhancing personal empowerment. The gift of the Enneagram is that through self-discovery, one can create and sustain meaningful and lasting relationships with others, God and themselves. When I took the test I came out as a Type 5 the Investigative Thinker.  Although I was pretty equal with the Type 3 the Successful Achiever.  Both fit me pretty well!  Here's th...

  For many years I thought that I had one great sin.  Something I hid, was ashamed of, and didn't tell many people.  This post is about lust and pornography.  I'm not going to get into gross detail about this topic, but if you want to skip this post I completely understand. But this is a topic that affects everyone. It has invaded our culture and effects so many people today.   I was introduced to pornography in elementary school, probably sometime around fourth grade.  My friend found his dad's playboy magazines. I still remember him pulling them out of his backpack in secret when he brought them to school. Or going over to his house and finding his dad's stash.  In middle school I found it online and was introduced to the playboy channel on TV by a babysitter.    It was a secret struggle for years.  I didn't tell my youth pastor, or my high school friends.  I didn't even tell my college friends, even though we were in an accountab...

     I thrive on routine. I love to get up early, drink coffee, finish good books, and be in sunlight. Vacations are really hard for me. Sure, I love to work, but vacations are also hard for me because my schedule and routine are thrown out the window. And I have great hobbies. Indoor hobbies like reading, coffee, music, and drawing. Outdoor hobbies like gardening and bike riding. But in all this, I struggle with boredom.   Routines get boring. Habits get dull. I sometimes just want to sleep rather than do anything good for me. It usually hits me toward the end of a week. Monday I’m great. Motivated. Ready to accomplish things. But by the end of the week I want something different. Adventure.  To go somewhere new. To experience something unexpected. Sometimes I'll go to Taco Bell or Taco John's late at night just to get away and something I shouldn't.   I love mission trips and traveling. There's this sense of adventure and seeing something new.  I lov...

  Near the end of elementary school I won the worst prize in my life: a pair of glasses straps/cords.  My friends told me they were cool, but they were not.  I had two different kinds: a red pair with basketballs and a green pair with soccer balls; I wore them at the front end of my glasses.  They were a part of my every day appearance until the beginning of middle school when I became an easy target to be made fun of and picked on.  I had glasses, braces, glasses straps, acne, and was pretty nerdy and quirky, not the greatest combination to become cool and the most popular in your school!   Why do I start there?  For a lot of my life I’ve felt uncomfortable in my own skin.  It's kind of a weird phrase when you think about it.  It implies that you are something more than what others can see on the outside, your skin.  I was made fun of and picked on in elementary school and middle school. In first grade I even tried to change my name ...

  When I was in High School I received my calling into ministry.  However, my calling was shaped long before that time.  I don't have a date or time or moment when I remember walking the aisle or giving my life to Christ.  In fact, there isn't a time in my life that I can remember not believing in God.  Some people have this similar experience, we grew up in the church, have always known God since we were kids, and feel ashamed of our testimony.  But I feel so blessed to have known God from an early age.  God gave me an early love for Him and His Word.  From the end of elementary school onward I read the Bible every single night, until my devotional times changed in college.    My youth ministry also played a significant role in my calling.  I found a family of friends, used my musical talents to worship God, and became a leader.  I felt confident, loved, and at home.  It was in this setting, at youth group that God ca...

(Taken May 3, 2020)   From the beginning of our marriage, my wife and I have had a garden.  A month after we were married we moved out to Littleon, Colorado where I started school at Denver Seminary.  We loved that whole experience and the community we lived in at the seminary.  While living there, the seminary campus, they developed some raised bed gardens for the community to use.  We signed up for one and my wife took the lead on what to plant and how to garden.  Side note funny story, one year we had some foreign exchange students gardening next to us and they decided to pick all of our green tomatoes and give them to us.  I'm still confused by that whole experience...   For many years gardening was my wife's hobby.  When we moved to Missouri we put in our own raised bed garden (because all the soil in Missouri is really just glorified clay!).  As another side note, I'm realizing that my brother-in-laws have helped tremendou...

  For most of my life I have longed for a mentor. In high school my youth pastor, Tim Kurth, and I met monthly for dinner. I would ask questions, he would answer. A little bit one sided but it was very helpful and formative for my calling to ministry. In college I had Bill McClure. He was the pastor of our small EFCA church. Such a great disciple making pastor. We met weekly at this smoky restaurant in downtime Valpo for breakfast. I remember studying Daniel together and sharing some hard moments together. In Seminary I had Mark Hallock. I still feel like a spiritual shrimp next to him. He is so impressive, encouraging, and just life giving. However, in Missouri I struggled to find a true mentor. I tried to reach out to some people but it was usually one sided and not exactly what was helpful for me.   And then I was introduced to Tom. Tom Clegg. When I was first introduced to Tom, it wasn’t my idea nor was I particularly fond of it. We were in a difficult time period with ou...

  I grew up in a very different kind of youth ministry. There were no games. No gross foods. No small groups. No fun camp trips. What you ask was it? Mini church for students.   My youth pastor, Tim Kurth, had a new model for youth ministry that I’ve never seen anywhere else. First, we had confirmation for middle school. This is pretty common in a Lutheran church. We learned the basic doctrines of Christianity, the story-line of the Bible, and had to write out our testimony. I later leaned that my testimony was based on the two EE questions. Unfortunately, a lot of the youth group graduated from church at that point.   Second, there was Sunday School. I don’t remember much about middle school Sunday School but High School was basically a topical study small group with 10-15 people. I remember one lesson told from the perspective of the sheep at the manger scene, but I can’t remember anything else. But, I do remember liking my teachers.   Next we had Work Camps. Ev...

  From June to December, 2016, my life changed dramatically.  In June, Pastor Andy Veith left Lighthouse to pastor a church in Fargo, ND.  He hired me.  I loved working for him.  He was the founding and lead pastor for the last 15+ years at our church.  And like that, he was gone.  The church was figuratively left in my hands to lead as the interim senior pastor.  In August our third child was born, James.  He is really the joy of my life.  I love his sweet and comical spirit.  In November I officially became the Lead Pastor at Lighthouse.  Finally, in December, on December 23, I found out I had Type 2 Diabetes.   In mid December I felt something strange going on.  I felt tired all the time.  I remember waiting at the Toyota Dealership for my car to be worked on, waiting in the large waiting room and almost falling asleep.  I've never fallen asleep in public in my entire life!  I had blurry vision....

  I love coffee.  I blame my brother and my son, Mitchell.  I can remember my first cup of coffee.  I was working on a project at Peace Lutheran Church in Lombard, IL, building something outside with some other men. Maybe I was in high school.  Some of the men wanted some coffee so I took some too.  It tasted awful.  But I felt like a man that day.  And in my head I knew, men drink coffee.   I don't think I drank another cup of coffee until I was 25, at least not real coffee.  I drank a lot of soda, mostly Coke and Code Red Mountain Dew as a kid, so I had the caffeine intake already going on.  But when my son Mitchell was born in 2011 I felt the need for coffee.  It wasn't about being a man, but it was more about wanting to feel awake after being up with him all night.  Mitchell was a fussy baby and we were new parents.  Oh what I would have done differently if knew what I knew now!  But with being a youth minis...

  When my dad retired he received 3 pieces of advice: have an inside hobby, an outside hobby, and one that can cross pollinate. He tried out a number of different activities: cooking, baking, music... but finally landed on golf, photography, and birding.   I have always struggled with hobbies and downtime. Vacation is hard for me. Long periods of unstructured nothingness literally drive me crazy. And sometimes I feel like I should be doing more! I feel guilty for taking breaks and downtime. Part of the perfectionist/workaholic in me.   A couple of years ago I began a journey to develop more hobbies.  I’m a pastor so my job is mostly with my head and my heart. I also work on my computer a lot. So hobbies that required a lot of emotion, thinking, and a computer were out. I tried to continue in music (I play acoustic and electric guitar, bass, mandolin, and banjo) but with young kids that became really hard. At first jigsaw puzzles were too difficult with young kids ...

  I have a new morning routine.  I have always wanted to be a morning person, but the combination of my depression, medicine I take that makes me tired, and darkness kept me in bed longer than I'm ashamed to admit.  But as of late that's all changed.   Every morning I can, I get up around 5:15am, sometimes earlier.  I make my way down to the basement where my mini library awaits me.  I turn on two overhead lights, my light therapy lamp, and a desk lamp.  And I start my coffee.   Really, my process starts the night before with coffee.  I like good, freshly ground coffee.  The night before I grind some good coffee beans and take all my supplies down to the basement.  Then, in the morning I make my fresh pour over coffee.  I use a Bodum pour over coffee maker.  It is amazing, it's a pick up me to have some fresh caffeine and good smelling coffee.   Then, I read.  For me, reading is life giving.  It gives ...