Humble Boldness

       I’m working this week on a sermon comparing guilt to shame.  Shame, as I’ve come to understand it has to do with who we are. Yes, we feel shame and are shamed by others, but shame is an identity. Whereas guilt is about something we’ve done.  Guilt has to do with being guilty over a crime or sin I’ve committed.       All of this has brought the issue of racism into my mind. Racism is about shame.  Racism attempts to take a person and identify them with negative stereotypes.  It becomes about who they are.        It may also have to do with guilt.  We make people feel guilty for their skin color.  We say “all such people do this.”  It also becomes an issue of what someone does, i.e. guilt.        Why? Why do we do this to other people? Why do we make someone feel bad for who they are?      I grew up in a majority white neighborhood and went to a majority...

    Recently, I was introduced to the Enneagram Test.  There's a great website that explains what it is and a pretty simple test to take to figure out your personality type.  Here's how they explain what it is: The Enneagram (Ennea=9, Gram=Diagram) is simply a map (GPS) for self-discovery and personal growth based on 9 basic personality types. The Enneagram accurately and clearly describes why you think, feel and behave in particular ways based upon your core fears and core desires. The power of the Enneagram is in its ability to harness and transform self-limiting behaviors into life-enhancing personal empowerment. The gift of the Enneagram is that through self-discovery, one can create and sustain meaningful and lasting relationships with others, God and themselves. When I took the test I came out as a Type 5 the Investigative Thinker.  Although I was pretty equal with the Type 3 the Successful Achiever.  Both fit me pretty well!  Here's th...

  For many years I thought that I had one great sin.  Something I hid, was ashamed of, and didn't tell many people.  This post is about lust and pornography.  I'm not going to get into gross detail about this topic, but if you want to skip this post I completely understand. But this is a topic that affects everyone. It has invaded our culture and effects so many people today.   I was introduced to pornography in elementary school, probably sometime around fourth grade.  My friend found his dad's playboy magazines. I still remember him pulling them out of his backpack in secret when he brought them to school. Or going over to his house and finding his dad's stash.  In middle school I found it online and was introduced to the playboy channel on TV by a babysitter.    It was a secret struggle for years.  I didn't tell my youth pastor, or my high school friends.  I didn't even tell my college friends, even though we were in an accountab...

     I thrive on routine. I love to get up early, drink coffee, finish good books, and be in sunlight. Vacations are really hard for me. Sure, I love to work, but vacations are also hard for me because my schedule and routine are thrown out the window. And I have great hobbies. Indoor hobbies like reading, coffee, music, and drawing. Outdoor hobbies like gardening and bike riding. But in all this, I struggle with boredom.   Routines get boring. Habits get dull. I sometimes just want to sleep rather than do anything good for me. It usually hits me toward the end of a week. Monday I’m great. Motivated. Ready to accomplish things. But by the end of the week I want something different. Adventure.  To go somewhere new. To experience something unexpected. Sometimes I'll go to Taco Bell or Taco John's late at night just to get away and something I shouldn't.   I love mission trips and traveling. There's this sense of adventure and seeing something new.  I lov...

  Near the end of elementary school I won the worst prize in my life: a pair of glasses straps/cords.  My friends told me they were cool, but they were not.  I had two different kinds: a red pair with basketballs and a green pair with soccer balls; I wore them at the front end of my glasses.  They were a part of my every day appearance until the beginning of middle school when I became an easy target to be made fun of and picked on.  I had glasses, braces, glasses straps, acne, and was pretty nerdy and quirky, not the greatest combination to become cool and the most popular in your school!   Why do I start there?  For a lot of my life I’ve felt uncomfortable in my own skin.  It's kind of a weird phrase when you think about it.  It implies that you are something more than what others can see on the outside, your skin.  I was made fun of and picked on in elementary school and middle school. In first grade I even tried to change my name ...

  When I was in High School I received my calling into ministry.  However, my calling was shaped long before that time.  I don't have a date or time or moment when I remember walking the aisle or giving my life to Christ.  In fact, there isn't a time in my life that I can remember not believing in God.  Some people have this similar experience, we grew up in the church, have always known God since we were kids, and feel ashamed of our testimony.  But I feel so blessed to have known God from an early age.  God gave me an early love for Him and His Word.  From the end of elementary school onward I read the Bible every single night, until my devotional times changed in college.    My youth ministry also played a significant role in my calling.  I found a family of friends, used my musical talents to worship God, and became a leader.  I felt confident, loved, and at home.  It was in this setting, at youth group that God ca...

(Taken May 3, 2020)   From the beginning of our marriage, my wife and I have had a garden.  A month after we were married we moved out to Littleon, Colorado where I started school at Denver Seminary.  We loved that whole experience and the community we lived in at the seminary.  While living there, the seminary campus, they developed some raised bed gardens for the community to use.  We signed up for one and my wife took the lead on what to plant and how to garden.  Side note funny story, one year we had some foreign exchange students gardening next to us and they decided to pick all of our green tomatoes and give them to us.  I'm still confused by that whole experience...   For many years gardening was my wife's hobby.  When we moved to Missouri we put in our own raised bed garden (because all the soil in Missouri is really just glorified clay!).  As another side note, I'm realizing that my brother-in-laws have helped tremendou...